Time Is Not On Your Side

 

Jazz trombonist Kai Winding first recorded the song “Time Is On My Side” with his orchestra in 1963.  Jimmy Norman added some lyrics to Jerry Ragovoy’s original, and it was later covered by soul singer Irma Thomas. 

Irma’s version caught the attention of a British rock band that often shopped for imported music in the Soho district.  They were attracted to the bluesy feel, the strong chorus and the curt dismissal of a lover.  Their single was released in the US in September of 1964, where it became the Rolling Stones first top ten hit on the Billboard Pop Singles Chart. 

At the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival in May of 2024, Mick Jagger and Irma Thomas performed the song as a duet, at long last recognizing Irma’s original contribution.  In the interim, it had been covered by many well-known artists, among them Michael Bolton, Blondie, Wilson Pickett, Paul Revere and the Raiders, Patti Smith and the Moody Blues.  For more than six decades, artists have been musically proclaiming “Time Is On My Side.”

It’s not.

There comes a moment in life when our hearts have passed the midpoint of their allotted beats.  We won’t know exactly when.  On average, it occurs around heartbeat number 1,681,920,001. From that point onward time is a dwindling, valuable resource.  Since personally passing that milestone, I have been reflecting more on it.  For what it’s worth, here are a few of the things I’ve wasted my time on.

The idea of “manifesting” is centuries old.

"The mind is everything. What you think you become," - Buddha

"Your imagination is your preview of life's coming attractions" - Albert Einstein

Modern motivational authors use quotes like these to call attention to the power of intention and belief in shaping our reality.  They encourage us to manifest our destiny with focused thinking and a positive vision.  For me, it’s way too easy to morph into “innovative worrying” - the practice of inventing a frightening narrative fabricated from improbable events that are hypothesized  in my monkey brain.  I did it in High School for a full week before every oral report.  I did it in the final few weeks prior to my PhD oral qualifying exam.  A large data storage company I once worked for announced early one December that there would be a large layoff the following January, effectively ruining the holiday season for me.  I can never recoup those days of worry, although the oral reports, the qualifying exam, and even the RIF (which led me to a second career as a College Professor) all ended well. 

Perhaps I’m too proud, or intimidated, or fearful of exposing my shortcomings, but I have always had a hard time asking for help.  In my first real job after graduating from college, I was surrounded by elder statesmen of the engineering profession.  For one of my initial assignments, I spent hours calculating the critical dimensions for a part, filling half a dozen pages of green quad-ruled engineering paper with formulas and numbers.  After flipping absentmindedly through my work, one senior engineer said they had been building them like that for the past ten years, and so he was pretty sure it would work.  In a flash, my engineering master’s degree was deflated.  If only I had asked for his advice in the beginning, all that time would have been preserved for better things.  My fear of appearing dumb made me look even dumber. 

George Santayana attended Boston Latin School and Harvard College where he studied under philosopher William James.  He later became a Professor of Philosophy at Harvard where he was known for his aphorisms.  You have probably never heard of him, but you might recognize one of his best known sayings:

 “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

Studying history must be a good thing.  A favorite maxim of a former boss of mine was pithier - “it’s better to do the wrong thing than to do nothing.”  This bias for action was meant to keep us moving forward with a greater sense of urgency while not dwelling on the past.  Learning from mistakes without grinding on them is an crucial distinction I struggle with.  Research published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology shows that  dwelling on the past negatively affects our behavior, and that better self-control and more positive results come from looking forward.  Reviewing past mistakes has always created anxiety and self-doubt for me while doing little good.  Life has no rewind button.

 

I’ve taught enough classes, spoken at enough conferences, and presided over enough meetings to know the importance of “reading the room.”  I’ve also noticed that no matter how I shift the presentation to compensate, I will never meet everyone’s needs.  I’m sure this is true for all of us, no matter what the situation.  As David Foster Wallace said “Don’t waste time worrying about what others think of you. They don’t.” Our feelings are sometimes based on jealousy, regret or perhaps just a hopeless attempt to please everyone.  Bernard Baruch recommended - “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” If you disagree with this, feel free to email me - in order to get your note properly sorted, please be sure and put the word “Spam” in the subject line.

Four years ago, my wife and I traveled to Kansas to pick up a new Shih-Tzu puppy.  We named him Tito - an acronym for Time Is Ticking Off.  Like most folks, I’ve burned through a lot of resources looking for shortcuts to help me save time, while ignoring some of the biggest time-wasters.   Tito is my daily reminder that time is not on my side, and to conserve it for the memorable things in life that matter.